


Burst

by fadedlullabyes



Series: The World in Color [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Non-convential use of black and white world verse, Soulmates, Steve-centric, the world is black and white until you meet your soulmate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-08
Updated: 2014-07-08
Packaged: 2018-02-07 23:49:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1918749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fadedlullabyes/pseuds/fadedlullabyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve had given up the hope he would ever find his soul mate. He was used to the world being in black and white until he had met Tony on the Heli-carrier and everything changed in that one pivotal moment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Burst

The world exploded around him, the black and white fading away to give way to brighter tones that overwhelmed Steve Rogers so much he had to close his eyes. He had never expected the onslaught of every possible color in the world and Steve felt as though his skull would crack open. He had read how overbearing the world could be with the bursts of color when one met their soul mate. It was unexpected for him because Steve had given up hope long ago he would ever meet his soul mate and have the world brighten from the dull whites and blacks that he lived with since birth. He wanted to clutch at his head but he knew if he gave any indication that something was wrong, because his soul mate was acting as though nothing had happened, he would be pulled away from the mission. It was avoidable and so Steve kept his eyes closed until the pain behind his eyes subsided and he opened his eyes again.

 

No one had given him a second glance, not even Tony, which was a relief. He attempted to keep up with Banner and Stark but it was near impossible because most of the jargon was lost on Steve. He then wondered if God was playing him for a fool because there was no way his soul mate could be the son of his friend. Steve was still having trouble adjusting to the current century and to have a reminder of Howard in the present was like a slap to the face. Steve wasn’t sure if Tony had even acknowledged the connection between them because he hadn’t even spared a glance at Steve. It was troubling to say in the least that he would find his soul mate in this age where Steve had no business being.

 

This only complicated matters because even with the serum, Steve was having trouble adjusting to the new world in front of him. It was like he didn’t even know where he lived because everything was so vivid and he wanted to touch every color even though he knew there would be no texture to it. He had read articles where some people had never adjusted to the colors and went insane. Those particular stories always broke Steve’s heart and he damned near cried every time he had read one back in the forties. Bucky would always call him a damn girl and then take him out to cheer him up because Steve didn’t want to think about how if he ever met his soul mate, he would go crazy if he couldn’t adjust like other people.

 

Steve smiled and nodded as though he knew what people were saying. The colors were still disturbing him but they weren’t as obnoxious as before and he wondered if it was the effects of the serum or if he could really adjust on his own without any aid. Unfortunately he wouldn’t really know because he had taken that step towards a better life with the serum and while he had grasped at his future, he hadn’t quite known what he was giving up as well. There was no reassurance that everything about him didn’t stem from the serum. Steve had been afraid that his personality would change along with his body but as he had stepped out of the machine, he hadn’t felt any different except that he was taller and he could breathe.

 

He hadn’t looked back all that much after that day. Steve had embraced the future he would have until Erskine had been murdered and he had chased down the killer. The cyanide capsule had ripped what intelligence the SSR could gather from the man. Steve had swore then he would always be what he had promised Erskine. Even after the whole incident and he was nothing but a show pony, Steve had kept his head held high and did his best. He knew he would be out on the field one day and it would take just one opportunity. Steve would grasp it with both hands and haul that one chance out of a HYDRA base and back to an American camp. It had given him the recognition that he had deserved and Steve had forged a fiery path across Europe chasing after the Red Skull. Steve had one guess after seeing the man’s true face as to whom had named him. It was hard to fear someone with a color in their name when you didn’t exactly know what the color was like. But Erskine had spoken of the Skull and what kind of monster he was and that was how Steve had figured out Erskine had given Schmidt the name he went by.

 

While Steve had found it hard to fear the man with a color in his name, others did not. Red was a color that was associated with anger back in the forties and so some people had an irrational fear of it. He had read up on several cases where red was a trigger for some people, causing them to have anxiety attacks. Many sleepless nights were spent researching colors and the changes that occurred in seventy years. There weren’t really that many and Steve had them trivial. The one that stuck out though, was the fact that some people never acknowledged their bond after meeting their soul mate and having their world burst into color. They chose to ignore their one match to pursue something else in their life. Steve wondered if Tony would do that to him; just ignore him as though they weren’t meant for each other and just continued on with his life.

 

Steve had read Tony’s file and he knew every important milestone of Tony’s life. It felt unsettling that he learned about the man from a file that was more than five inches thick rather than a face to face meeting. Steve hadn’t been keen of going out into the world and creating a niche for himself. He preferred to stay in the gym that at least reminded him of the forties and he could pretend for just a little while that he wasn’t out of his time. Steve may have preferred the simple life but he knew that once he adjusted to the future, he’d be as normal as anyone out there. It was just he couldn’t allow himself to forget who he had been and what he had done to get to this point. He had basically committed suicide by crashing that aircraft into the cold waters of the arctic but there had no other options at the time. Peggy’s broken voice still haunted Steve to this day though he would never admit to anyone.

 

If Steve had lived and never found his soul mate, he would have made a life with Peggy. It wasn’t unheard for those who couldn’t find their other half to settle down with someone else. The relationship weren’t as strong but there was still a small bond that allowed two people who weren’t meant to be to exist though it was harder for them conceive. Only twenty five percent of couples who weren’t soul mates were able to carry a child to full term. It was a miracle if the child survived infancy and then there were the medical complications.

 

Sarah and Joseph Rogers weren’t soul mates and Steve had been one of the children who survived. All his health problems stemmed from the fact that his parents weren’t meant for each other. It had been a sore point with Steve his whole life and he swore that he would never have children if he settled down with someone other than his soul mate. It was a promise Steve knew he would keep for the rest of his life because he couldn’t put anyone through the hell he had gone through.

 

For now Steve would play by Tony’s rules because he couldn’t afford to mess this up before it even began. There was a slim chance that Tony would even want to pursue anything with Steve and he would have to live with colors for the rest of his life, a constant reminder that he had found his soul mate but was rejected. The idea didn’t sit well with Steve but there was nothing he could at all about it. This would be Tony’s choice because Steve couldn’t really take that away from him. Steve would do this on his soul mate’s terms because he had already waited this long what was the rest of his life?

 

After having his world explode in color, Steve wasn’t sure that he could go back to how dull the world was before. Steve couldn’t really name all the colors because he hadn’t seen them before but he would be putting words to them because he needed to know. He wanted to map out every color in existence and his fingers were itching to finally paint. Steve had spent his life sketching in black and white. Now, there were option available to him and he felt as though the world were his oyster. After this, if he lived, he could make a living on painting. He wouldn’t have to fight again if he didn’t want to because he knew just how talented he was. Steve could leave S.H.I.E.L.D. behind and begin a new life that wasn’t full of violence.

 

He also couldn’t walk away from the responsibilities that were given to him either. Steve had a duty to protect those who couldn’t and he knew he would be miserable if he were to leave. Turning his back on the world when it needed him would haunt Steve and he wouldn’t be able to live with himself. He knew without really thinking about it that he would guilt trip himself into going back and fighting. If Steve were lucky, he could find someone to take up the mantle of Captain America after a decade or so and he could retire. He wanted to be free to explore the world and everything it had to offer. There were options now that he had never dreamed of and all he had to go was grasp them.

 

Steve had to force himself to shift his focus to the here and now. There were people depending on him and he couldn’t allow himself to be distracted. It was bad enough he was losing himself to the brilliant colors that painted the world but he couldn’t lose himself to his thoughts and dreams. Steve bucked up and began to listen. He didn’t want to mess this up for the team and Tony was acting as though had happened. Hell, they were currently fighting.

 

The thing that stung the most though, had been Tony’s words. They slipped past Steve’s defences and he felt everything in him shatter. He wasn’t even going to be given a chance; Tony’s mind was done made up and they had only known each other for all of an hour. He knew he wanted to give Tony the freedom to choose but Steve had thought he would at least have half a chance. It was as though a fog were lying heavily on his mind and he couldn’t stop the train wreck that left his lips. Steve found himself face to face with Tony and all he had to do was shut up but his lips weren’t complying.

 

It was easing diving into the mission after that fiasco. Steve needed to lose himself even though seeing colors didn’t help all that much. He kept getting distracted by how different the world looked and he had to regain his posture. Steve needed to be Captain America for these people; he had to get them to safety and contain the damage as much as possible. He couldn’t afford to be just Steve Rogers and let the hurt consume him. If he allowed that, then New York would be lost and so would the world to Loki’s madness. Steve couldn’t allow that to happen on his watch so he kicked himself into gear and began giving orders. It was almost like they could do this when everyone started to work together. With Hawkeye back on track and watching the skies, Steve had hope again. He kept tabs on everything as he fought, putting everything he had into saving what he loved.

 

It wasn’t until Tony had gone through the wormhole that Steve realized he had to make the hardest call of his life. There was only so much time they had to close the damn before the bomb would backfire to New York. Tony’s sacrifice wouldn’t mean jack shit if Steve allowed that hole to stay open. He couldn’t bring himself to say the words the first time, they caught in his throat as he searched for any sign of Tony’s brightly colored suit. There was no trace of him and Steve had to say the words. He forced them up his throat and out of his lips, delivering them to Natasha.

 

His heart stuck in his heart, refusing to beat as the colors began to fade around him. They were slowly receding back to where the wormhole was, where Tony was in space, dead. He had sacrificed himself to save a city the WSC was willing to destroy. Steve had eaten the words he had said earlier and he could only watch as the last bit of color drained from the world as Tony fell through the hole at the last second. He was falling too fast and Steve couldn’t breathe. He knew already Tony was dead, there was only one small speck of color left on his armor but it would soon fade as well when Tony hit the ground.

 

He watched as the Hulk jumped and caught Tony, cradling him in large arms before setting him down on the concrete of the road. Steve couldn’t help himself as his feet carried him to Tony’s body. There was only a small hint of color on him. The only indication that his life was hanging on by a thread and Steve had to close his eyes because he couldn’t bear to see it fade. Tony hadn’t even been breathing when the Hulk laid him down on the road so Steve began to believe that it was just some fluke on fate’s part that Tony still had one small dash of color on his cheek.

 

Steve kept his eyes shut until he heard the Hulk roar in anger. There had never been such a desperate yet angry sound Steve had ever heard. He watched as the world slowly came back in color as Tony woke up. It spread from Tony’s body to the rest of the world, making everything brilliant again and Steve hadn’t realized just how much he had missed the world in color. More than that though, he hadn’t realized just how much he wanted to explore it with Tony in tow. Steve wanted the other man by his side as he gained new experience; he wanted to share almost every moment with Tony even though it would be ridiculous. Steve needed to reach and take it but he wanted it to be Tony’s choice.

 

“Please tell me nobody kissed me.” Tony said once he had his breath. Steve had never heard anything so beautiful in his life. He couldn’t help himself as he leaned over Tony and gave him a kiss; their first of hopefully many. It was just a quick brush of lips, nothing too intrusive because Steve couldn’t breathe and he didn’t want to overwhelm Tony.

 

“Well, now you have.” Steve replied with a tilt of his lips. He couldn’t help but take in the color of Tony’s eyes and he wished to god he had a name for the color they were. He wanted to do nothing but paint Tony in every color he could see. It was an itch he would have to scratch soon because there was no way it was going away so soon.

  
“Well, I’ll be damned, consider me kissed.” Tony responded after a few short minutes. He got up and began to chatter, Steve taking it as a sign Tony would be okay for right now. They had bigger things to worry about now it was obvious that the gateway had been closed. Steve could wait though, because when Tony slipped his hand into Steve’s to give it a quick squeeze gave him hope for the future. 


End file.
